Monthly Archives: April 2016

Transition:No Country for Light-weights

Transgender. To change one’s gender cannot by definition be part-time. It isn’t casual or frivolous. It isn’t done for thrills or easy kicks. People who go through all the expense, pain and difficulty in changing genders have to be committed to a very serious and difficult process, especially those who transition later in life.

As I lay on my back recently in my electrologist’s office I pondered some of the new anti Transgender laws being passed or considered by State legislators. Here I lay having each of my remaining gray facial hairs zapped from my face one at a time. About one shock every ten seconds. And by shock I mean a small needle is inserted into a hair follicle in my face, often in some exceptionally sensitive location like around my lips or right under my nose. Then a painful electrical current is administered through it thus killing that hair. I do this in two hour sessions once a week. By the time I’m done I’m shaking and sweating from the effort to tolerate the pain. Who in their right mind would go through something like this unless they felt deeply compelled to do so?

How about shooting myself up with Estrogen every 2 weeks? Now THAT’s a party! My compound prescription is so viscous it has to be drawn through a heavy gauge needle and then injected into a large muscle. I typically go for my quadricep on the top of my thigh. No big artery I can puncture there and easily accessible. I have to relax or the muscle becomes too tense and the needle won’t penetrate easily. Once inserted it takes over a minute to inject the thick compound during which time I attempt to relax. I usually ice the area afterward to keep the muscle from becoming painful or swollen. The prescription is costly and my insurance often only covers part of it. Sometimes I can’t get the covered brand at all and have to pay full price. It’s either that or I experience an extended bout of PMS and my hard earned female traits began to sag. There are oral Estrogen tablets but to this point I haven’t found any that work as well. In addition taking hormones orally is hard on the liver. Anyone want to join me?

How about the daily concern of being “read” as Trans? Since my facial surgery I haven’t worried much about this but I assure you I spent my share of time in that psychological nightmare. I can say without any hesitation that the middle is the most challenging place to occupy between genders. If you want it to go smoothly jump across that divide or you will be torn to shreds. I have many friends who have been marginalized and discriminated against in every possible way. Some are even attacked or killed. It ain’t pretty and no one chooses this life lightly.  Once again, volunteers?

Statistically something like 1 person in 10,000 will be Transgender. Of those perhaps only a small portion will actually attempt to transition. That means the likelihood of encountering someone who is Trans is extremely low. Even lower to encounter them in a restroom. To pass laws that target this small group seems disproportionate to the concern. As far as I know there has never been an incident of anyone being attacked or molested by a Trans person in a restroom. Quite the opposite for the Trans person. Violence is visited upon them regularly for any imagined or potential flaw. Usually for just being different. Many find the trek so bleak they attempt to take their own life. Recent surveys show that almost 50% of Trans people have contemplated suicide. It’s beyond cruel to pass laws that single them out for more hate and fear. To hope for people to think rationally and not respond to media hype has proven impossible. Any reasonable person who considers the reality of being Trans would see that the people who do attempt the arduous journey aren’t doing so they can jump children in a public bathroom but out of a deep need to find themselves.

The Wedding

Hello everyone. Thank You all for coming.We’re all here to celebrate the marriage between Avalon and Genivieve,  a transgender woman and a woman from birth. Most people see them now as a Lesbian couple. Ironically, after Genivieve’s transition their joining became one that up until a few years ago would not have been possible. Two weeks ago, Avalon and Genivieve walked into the courthouse  behind me and applied for a marriage license. The clerk never batted an eyelash. As a matter of fact, he actually congratulated them! Coincidentally this is the same courthouse where less than a year ago Genivieve had her name and gender legally changed. In other words, this is a very special place for them both and a very unique wedding. This may well be the very first transgender marriage held on these grounds. … ever. While that is indeed significant, it is also somewhat irrelevant.  What is relevant is that Avalon and Genivieve deeply love each other and that we are here to celebrate it regardless of what label is placed on the union. In addition they have 5 (now 6) lovely adult children who join them in this marriage. They feel very blessed to have them here today. Avalon and Genivieve are excited to have finally found each other and feel honored to share this day with you. Thank you all for being here and showing your support!